young life

recently i've been reflecting on why i lead young life. young life takes up a big portion of my time and my life and i think it is good to think about why i'm doing what i'm doing, how it is affecting me and why i love it so much.

if you don't know what young life is (i only have about 2 readers, so you probably do) here is a brief run-down. young life is an outreach youth ministry that involves meeting high school kids where they are in their faith and walking with them, loving them well and showing them who jesus christ is and what that means for their lives through your relationship. my young life leader in high school pushed me in my faith and although i had heard the stories in church and read the bible sometimes, it was really katie (my yl leader) who made me want more.

i started officially leading young life in january of my freshman year. slightly lost and with big self-worth issues i dove into a highly affluent high school trying to make relationships and show kids who jesus was when i myself was having a rough year. it was hard. really hard. i could've easily just said "ya, this isn't for me," but for some reason i didn't. best decision ever. i started building relationships slowly and got to take 14 girls to camp that summer. i knew when i sat in the camp dining hall late one night eating chips and salsa and drinking lemonade with kendall as we talked about life and high school and good stuff and hard stuff that this experience, these girls, these leaders, but most importantly, jesus, were changing me. for the better.

this past friday at our first leadership of the year we talked about why we lead young life... why we drive 30 mins each way to get ice cream with girls. or why we spend sunday night and monday night in basements laughing, playing weird games, singing too loud and talking about who jesus really is. why i wake up at 6:20 on friday mornings to get bagels and study the bible when i could just sleep until class at noon.

i think it all boils down to this-- i am loved so i love.

i've seen and felt what god has done to my heart, and my life. i know how he redeems and renews. i acknowledge that without him, without the promise of his son, i would be worthless, and despite my broken and sinful nature because of this promise, he loves me still. in fact, he loves me so much that i cannot grasp or understand that love. and with jesus i am enough, i am worthy, i am whole and i am remade. every day. every minute of every day, i am his beloved.

so because of this promise jesus made and because i am so loved, i love. because in the bible we are called to be his ambassadors. to share the works of christ in our lives to others. because he loves us so much, we must love others in the same way that he loves us. a big task.

i am not the best young life leader and i will never be. but i do know this, these girls have taken a big spot of my heart. i love them a lot. i love that we are really silly and laugh so hard together. and that i get to walk with them through really awesome fun things and support them and share their burdens in the really hard and messy parts of life. these girls challenge me to be better so that i can show them christ in the most real and true sense.

the role of a young life leader is really a beautiful thing. i am not their parent or sister or best friend or school counselor or coach. i am none of those things. i do not get angry when they hurt my feelings or expect something out of them like any other conditional relationship. it is legit and full of a lot of love. and here is the other thing, maybe my favorite-- i get to show them grace, when they screw up or break my heart it doesn't change our relationship. because i know when they make bad decisions or stray away from god he doesn't get mad, but he says "i love you so much, and my heart is breaking for you, i want something so much better than this for you. and i am the only one who can give that to you." and that, my friends is such a beautiful thing. i get to love them because of that and try to show them this earthy picture of what god's love is like.

i am not perfect and this hard, but god is perfecting me and i am learning more and more about who jesus is as i walk with these girls and as i try to love them well and show them grace. i am so thankful for them and for this ministry god has called me to be a part of.