I'm learning this right now. I've thought a lot about choices recently. How everyday we get to choose what we want to be about, how we want to live. I would say that I want to choose joy and love everyday. Somedays though, if I'm being totally honest, I choose contentment and selfishness. I choose to make things about me, or not fully accept my invitation to live into the life I was made to live.
We have a deep human desire to be chosen. By God, by society, by friends, by success, by a boy, by family. When I look at the list of God, society, friends, success, boys, family, I know which one really matters. Brokenness clouds over perspective though, and so instead of finding our value in God, we seek things that the world tells us matter, or love that is fleeting, instantly gratifying, and conditional.
Jesus CHOSE US. He chooses us every moment of every day. God chose to love and so with it his heart breaks when we hurt, and we break his heart when we don't choose him. Jesus literally endured immense physical pain and hurt to demonstrate his love for us, when he could've stopped it all. But he didn't, he risked pain and suffering to demonstrate love as it was made to be. Love is not always easy, or simple. God chooses to give love and blessings and meaning and protection that can only come from him, while also promising to learn our sad heartbreak songs and sing along. While promising to never leave nor forsake us, knowing full well that we will leave and forsake him time and time again, simply because we are human.
Kara and I decided last night that the past few weeks have been extra hard. Not bad, just complicated and hard. We came to the conclusion that this probably means we are growing up. It's what we've wanted all our lives and its moving in on our selfish ways and desires. And it is teaching us and challenging us. Life is going to be rough, and messy and not about us. That we will have to choose what we want our lives to really be about, and again and again to choose to live that out.
I always say the best things in life are the most difficult. I believe that because the hardest things I've gone through have brought the greatest transformation and blessings. So here's to growing up. To graduation, to real relationships and real choices. All that are hard and scary. Here's