I love thanksgiving. It means family and friends around a table sharing a meal and conversation and intentionally gathering with hearts of thankfulness. But today I was wondering why we need a whole day devoted to "giving thanks." Wouldn't our lives be more full if our everyday echoed the ideals of Thanksgiving? I think so. I'm obviously not advising the abolition of Thanksgiving because I think it is a lovely day, but I want Thanksgiving the other 364 days of the year too. Probably without the excessive food consumption.
I hope that I seek to experience the beauty and blessings of everyday. I want to be about celebrating and giving thanks for the little things in life that are really great and also for ordinary things that I so often take for granted.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
what i'm learning
The past season of my life has felt busy, overwhelming, and chaotic, but at the same time so blessed, fun, and exciting. I feel like most of life is busy, overwhelming and chaotic but I want to be more aware of the blessings, the fun, and the goodness in every moment.
I've been reflecting on what God is teaching me right now; about him, and also about myself. I know there is always something to learn, always somewhere to grow, and something to hear, but for a while I felt stuck. I prayed to be unstuck and I prayed for God to use me, to show me what I'm suppose to be doing, and to teach me. But mostly to experience him more. And I felt unanswered. I'm not sure I would've said that then, or admitted the scary reality that I was feeling distant from God, but I was. I never said it aloud, and never was mad at God, but I just had a longing for more of him. I felt like my desires for a deeper experience with God were not being quenched. I wanted movement.
Recently however, I've been reminded of God's true faithfulness and his plan for me. I've been reminded that waiting is not bad. Waiting is hard. Waiting for God, or for prayers to be answered, or for things to make sense is always hard. At least for me, because I am a generally impatient person. But that place of waiting is where transformation happens, where hope brews and where I think the roots of true joy and thanksgiving grow.
There is always movement in our lives. There was movement and growth when I felt distant from God and there is movement now when I feel overwhelmed by his presence and transformation.
I think I've also been realizing that we settle- a lot. We settle in various ways for various reasons, but none the less, we are all guilty of settling. And boy-oh-boy, does settling scare me. Kara and I were talking about how so often we take matters into our own hands to get what we want. Instead of being in the place of waiting for what might be, we jump prematurely to where we think we want to be. I say "where we think we want to be" because I think that we don't know what's best for ourselves. I am small and broken, but God is perfect and sovereign. It sounds cliche and overused because we hear all the time that "God has bigger plans for us." But, he does! Maybe even more, he has plans for us on the journey. He has answers to our questions in the waiting and he is guiding us when we don't know-- when I am calling out for more of him. And I think this all scares me because while the waiting is so hard, the settling is so easy. It is easy, but never best. And I don't want to live an easy life. I want a life that is challenging, but meaningful. I want to seek God in the unknown and dance in the joy of his faithfulness and blessings.
I've been learning that for basically my whole life, I've been living like the hard things in my life can be solved with a formula. For example "feelings of insufficiency cured with higher grades and a smaller dress size" or "loneliness and a desired to be known fixed with a boyfriend." And so, consequently I've been living my life in an attempt to make it easier by taking matters into my own hands, and while doing that I've sized God down. I've made him smaller out of fear that I might not get exactly what I want when I want it. Prayers become like kitchen orders, and life becomes about selfishly living and failing to acknowledge the perfectly intricate and beautiful plan that has been handcrafted for me.
Moreover, God doesn't work in formulas, he is the best author ever. The stories God has for our lives are filled with trials, hard things, and pain, and they are abundantly full of redemption, unconditional love and grace. Maybe the coolest part of this all is that we don't even have to try out to be part of this beautiful story, we just get to. Everyday I have the opportunity to wake up to my life and play my character in the story God has handcrafted for me. Feelings of "not being enough" are never cured with a number on a scale, or worldly successes, or by getting what we've "always wanted". Joy and fulfillment are not achieved with a list and a set of directions. And thank goodness for that because life would be way boring.
I'm discovering that what we want doesn't usually happen how we pictured. Life is messy and hard. But God works in the messy and broken and he makes beautiful things out of hard things. So i'm waking up to seeing the whole picture and living out the story. I'm sick of expecting my timing and what I've always wanted. Instead, I'm whole-heartedly experiencing the blessings that are in the right now. Chances are the story God is writing is a whole lot better than my simple formula for life.
All God ever wanted us to do is keep dancing, keep living. He will keep writing and I think He promises it. will. be. beautiful.
I've been reflecting on what God is teaching me right now; about him, and also about myself. I know there is always something to learn, always somewhere to grow, and something to hear, but for a while I felt stuck. I prayed to be unstuck and I prayed for God to use me, to show me what I'm suppose to be doing, and to teach me. But mostly to experience him more. And I felt unanswered. I'm not sure I would've said that then, or admitted the scary reality that I was feeling distant from God, but I was. I never said it aloud, and never was mad at God, but I just had a longing for more of him. I felt like my desires for a deeper experience with God were not being quenched. I wanted movement.
Recently however, I've been reminded of God's true faithfulness and his plan for me. I've been reminded that waiting is not bad. Waiting is hard. Waiting for God, or for prayers to be answered, or for things to make sense is always hard. At least for me, because I am a generally impatient person. But that place of waiting is where transformation happens, where hope brews and where I think the roots of true joy and thanksgiving grow.
There is always movement in our lives. There was movement and growth when I felt distant from God and there is movement now when I feel overwhelmed by his presence and transformation.
I think I've also been realizing that we settle- a lot. We settle in various ways for various reasons, but none the less, we are all guilty of settling. And boy-oh-boy, does settling scare me. Kara and I were talking about how so often we take matters into our own hands to get what we want. Instead of being in the place of waiting for what might be, we jump prematurely to where we think we want to be. I say "where we think we want to be" because I think that we don't know what's best for ourselves. I am small and broken, but God is perfect and sovereign. It sounds cliche and overused because we hear all the time that "God has bigger plans for us." But, he does! Maybe even more, he has plans for us on the journey. He has answers to our questions in the waiting and he is guiding us when we don't know-- when I am calling out for more of him. And I think this all scares me because while the waiting is so hard, the settling is so easy. It is easy, but never best. And I don't want to live an easy life. I want a life that is challenging, but meaningful. I want to seek God in the unknown and dance in the joy of his faithfulness and blessings.
I've been learning that for basically my whole life, I've been living like the hard things in my life can be solved with a formula. For example "feelings of insufficiency cured with higher grades and a smaller dress size" or "loneliness and a desired to be known fixed with a boyfriend." And so, consequently I've been living my life in an attempt to make it easier by taking matters into my own hands, and while doing that I've sized God down. I've made him smaller out of fear that I might not get exactly what I want when I want it. Prayers become like kitchen orders, and life becomes about selfishly living and failing to acknowledge the perfectly intricate and beautiful plan that has been handcrafted for me.
Moreover, God doesn't work in formulas, he is the best author ever. The stories God has for our lives are filled with trials, hard things, and pain, and they are abundantly full of redemption, unconditional love and grace. Maybe the coolest part of this all is that we don't even have to try out to be part of this beautiful story, we just get to. Everyday I have the opportunity to wake up to my life and play my character in the story God has handcrafted for me. Feelings of "not being enough" are never cured with a number on a scale, or worldly successes, or by getting what we've "always wanted". Joy and fulfillment are not achieved with a list and a set of directions. And thank goodness for that because life would be way boring.
I'm discovering that what we want doesn't usually happen how we pictured. Life is messy and hard. But God works in the messy and broken and he makes beautiful things out of hard things. So i'm waking up to seeing the whole picture and living out the story. I'm sick of expecting my timing and what I've always wanted. Instead, I'm whole-heartedly experiencing the blessings that are in the right now. Chances are the story God is writing is a whole lot better than my simple formula for life.
All God ever wanted us to do is keep dancing, keep living. He will keep writing and I think He promises it. will. be. beautiful.
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