prayer v. talking

i saw this graphic on pinterest the other day that said "have you prayed about it as much as you've talked about it?" this stopped me and made me think... and it has been on my mind ever since.

i don't pray as much as i should and i'm going to try to change that. i forget to pray or i get busy. i fall asleep or my mind wanders. lots of distractions and excuses can take the place of prayer.

my first instinct when i am upset about something is to text my best friend or call my mom or go for a run. which are all earthy things that i convince myself will make me feel better and in someway ameliorate the situation. but i am learning that i need to have more faith and more courage to lift up the things heavy on my heart and to trust God with all aspects of my life. to talk less and listen more to the lord. this season of my life seems unsettling and shifting and a growing phase and i like that, but it can be hard. i do not know what this summer will really be like, i am so excited for the things to come, but i begin to plan out what will come of it when i should be praying for strength and patience and to be prepared and faithful in what will be. some relationships in my life seem unsure and changing and this is scary to me. in those relationships i need god's presence walking beside me through those relationships and to be obedient to the lord.

all of these things that are unknown to me and make me uncomfortable are pushing me closer to Jesus and i love this. it is hard but i love that i am becoming more and more aware that i cannot do it alone, i cannot be strong and graceful by myself.

tonight at campaigners we wrangled the kids enough (tonight was extra crazy!) to write individual letters to God. i wrote one too and i found myself very aware that i recently have relied on my own understanding, on my own planning, on lists and ideas and dreams. but i have chosen to live my life for Christ, following him wholeheartedly which means that i will give up my plan knowing and believing that his is better. and there is so much beauty in that... in letting go and letting god, in talking less and praying more.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:6-7