what this is...

it's been in my head and in my heart for a while to start a blog. which i don't really know why because i'm not a great writer and i don't always feel like i have the best things to say, or that i know how to say what i'm thinking. but... here it is. as you obviously have realized by now, i started one. on a whim. i don't know what i will write about and i don't know when i will find time to write and i'm sure this will distract me from studying-- which i'm not too upset about.

this feels good to me and so unfamiliar which i think is fitting because i think unfamiliar and new are good words to describe the way my life has felt over the past year. i've been heartbroken and hurt. i've been hard on myself and felt unworthy. but i've been redeemed and renewed and loved well. i am so thankful and joyful because of that. yes, this is a place where i will write about me, but i am not telling my story, i am telling the story of jesus and who he is and the grace and love and hope that he brings to my life. i've learned a lot about that this year, more than any other year of my life. i think i need a place for that. a place to share and think and process and remind myself and rejoice at how we can be made new.

i've started reading blogs this past year, mostly thanks to my friend Sarah :) and i've learned a lot from hearing other people's stories. i like that. because after all, we're all doing this thing called life. but, somewhat selfishly, i think this is mostly for me and this new phase of my life. but i'd love to share it with you if you are willing to put up with my...

1) goofiness-- yes, i do love to talk about real and hard things and things that mean so much to me deep down in my soul. but, i am weird and goofy and say silly things and maybe things that dont make complete sense. 

2) honesty-- i would like to think that i tell it like it is. i don't see why not. maybe that's because that is the way i was raised or that i just dont get why not tell the whole truth, ya know? but this is me and like so many things in our lives that surround us, this will not be fake. this is genuine, real and whole. 

3) repition-- i'm probably going to say the same thing twice for a couple reasons. one, i have a bad memory. two, i like to think about things, and that involves me thinking about them more than once, so chances are, i will talk about the things on my mind and my heart more than once. three, my life is busy and crazy and i'm kinda scattered but i kind of like that. 

4) being a nursing major-- ok, i'm no writer. the extent of my paper writing involves me writing assessments on patient health. this is a lot, a lot different. and i won't use proper grammer, and i'm too lazy to always press the shift bar to make caps. and i'll probably talk about how much i dislike nursing school but love nursing a lot.

more to come,

mal